What really great mistakes have you made?
Today I’m writing about mistakes, doing a little reframing and encouraging you to embrace them and share them. We all make them!
“The only man who never makes mistakes is the man who does nothing”
- Theodore Roosevelt
Roosevelt is quoted as saying; “The only man who never makes mistakes is the man who does nothing”. We can sit somewhere we hope is safe, make ourselves small, not get involved and hope things will quietly pass us by. Or we can choose to be brave and get out there and live life to the fullest. Which path do you want to take? Get out there, try stuff, dare to be vulnerable and along the way make some, in fact lots, of mistakes.
Mistakes, failures and errors are all very negatively charged words in our culture. Perhaps they need reframing? Would you be bolder if you saw them as things to celebrate, opportunities to learn or grow or move forward from? What if you saw them as a safe and predictable part of life’s twists and turns, changes of plans and more about forward movement?
You are unlikely to hit the perfect, elegant, aesthetic solution without a few ‘mistakes’ or prototypes along the way.
Keep on making those mistakes. Bram Stoker wrote in Dracula, “We learn from failure, not from success!” Perhaps the positive reframing of mistakes comes easier to me, as it is an integral part of the creative process. I trained as a creative and have spent many years both as a creative entrepreneur and teaching creativity. You will always make some mistakes as part of the refinement process in design. You try something, analyse it, edit, improve, refine, repeat… until you get that gem of creative outcome. You are unlikely to hit the perfect, elegant, aesthetic solution without a few ‘mistakes’ or prototypes along the way. Creative practitioners embrace them!
Experience… there is only one way to get it! I think we would probably agree that experience is helpful as we travel through life. If we treat it right, we learn and grow from it and, one mistake at a time, get better as leaders, creatives, business people, entrepreneurs, colleagues, partners and parents. The American writer and activist Rita Mae Brown is quoted as wisely saying; “Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.” So what mistakes have you got lined up next?
“Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.”
― Rita Mae Brown.
Perfectionism should be raised as a potential enemy of learning, growing and generally having a good time! ‘’You’ve got to get really good at being really bad”, I’ve no idea who said that… but it sounds kinda fun?! Take risks, play, make a mess, get lost, laugh, cry, experience the good and the bad. Here is the place of deep learning and deep living. Must it all be so binary; bad and good, right and wrong? Or is it all learning and experience? Seek out the unexpected silver linings, they are always there somewhere.
Make peace with yourself and others… we all make mistakes.
Another part to the puzzle of why many people currently are not embracing mistakes as part of being alive, is the feeling of regret, but here’s the thing, we all know you can’t turn back the clock. So what can you do? If the key of reframing the ‘mistake’ as part of growing doesn’t work, does the key of forgiveness? Forgiving yourself and forgiving others, show a little compassion to that younger you who did that pretty crazy thing once (or maybe more than once). In the words of Alexander Pope; “To err is human, to forgive, divine.” Make peace with yourself and others… we all make mistakes.
...as long as there is fear associated with trying out ideas, fear of being wrong or making mistakes, innovation and creativity in the workplace or anywhere else will be stifled.
I have a lot to say on the topic of encouraging mistakes in all, but particularly in the young. If only our young thought mistakes were the path to innovation, learning, excellence, humility, invention, creativity, leaps in science and technology, individual experience and richness of life. We might just have a much more wonderful, developing society. If we provided safe spaces for mistakes and actively encouraged experimentation and innovation not only for the young but also in our teams as managers and leaders we would have employees who were able to bring all of themselves into the work space. To show up and dare to be creative, share ideas, solve problems, try new stuff out, give our all and progress positively. For as long as there is fear associated with trying out ideas, fear of being wrong or making mistakes, innovation and creativity in the workplace or anywhere else will be stifled. One for the leaders and managers to think about; are your wonderful assets in the form of human resources functioning at half power? Fear of mistakes has a lot to answer for.
I was trying so very hard to be right, not just to be right but to be perfect… leaders ...are perfect, right?
My own journey of mistakes… I had a fast track career when I worked in education, after a year in the classroom I took on management responsibilities. As a manager I felt terribly responsible for everything that went ‘wrong’. I just needed to try harder, work harder, be better. This was the path to burnout and a lot of stress. I was trying so very hard to be right, not just to be right but to be perfect… leaders in the classroom and of teams are perfect, right? It was my duty to be perfect!
Which is funny, as within weeks of stepping into the classroom it dawned on me that hiding mistakes and presenting some old fashioned, outdated notion of perfectionism was utterly the wrong way to create a safe learning space. I was a dyslexic teacher, a former educational rebel, teaching creativity to a bunch of underprivileged rough diamonds in South London – what was I doing?! I eventually rewrote my thoughts on what good teaching was. I wondered, and tried out, a potentially dangerous idea – what if the best I could be in the classroom was through honesty, openness, integrity and respect? Clear boundaries paired with unwavering belief in my rough diamonds and a strong sense of purpose.
Some very exciting stuff started to happen. My young team got interested and engaged… we worked collaboratively as my thoughts evolved. We made a calm, safe space to talk, share, create and grow. We made mistakes, shared them, reflected on them and supported each other with how to build positively on them. Albert Einstein said, “Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” Common sense innit, Miss? We used the creative processes of experimentation, reflection and refinement leading to better outcomes… but not just in our art or graphics lessons, but in everything!
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”
- Albert Einstein
It started to click that this might be the way forward as a leader of teams too. It took me a little longer to get it right. My collaborators, in the form of colleagues, were often less open and enthusiastic than those in the classroom. They were not millennials ready for something different. They had ideas about how things should be done and those included a strong belief that leaders did not make mistakes, as mistakes were inherently wrong and there was no place for them in leadership or education. Mistakes show weakness and incompetence... but do they? Is it really more about what you do with them? I had to hold on hard to my belief that we all make mistakes, it is exactly how we get to be really, really good. I paired this with the thought that a really good team is open and honest with each other.
...mistakes paired with positive belief and acceptance are truly catalytic for an individual.
After a few roles in different places, I then met Larry… another rebel leader, and my new boss. I learnt lots from Larry, from his achievements and his mistakes, as we learnt on the job together. His attitude was key for me, I don’t know if he knew he was being an innovative leader, but he was fearless about mistakes and how to frame them. He had a kindness and humility alongside that fearlessness that I respected. Larry had a background in the music industry and the rock and roll attitude hadn’t really left him when he stepped into a senior educational leadership role. It gave him permission to try out ideas, be bold and make positive leaps forward. I watched, learned, made mistakes, while Larry had my back all the way. And I grew. That was the last part of the key for me, he showed me that that early experiment of mine as a leader in the classroom, really worked in teams too. He confirmed for me through giving me experience as a recipient of my theory; mistakes paired with positive belief and acceptance are truly catalytic for an individual.
So I challenge you – dare to fail. What’s the worst that could happen? And then what would you do? No really… how would you come back from there or fix that? I bet you have an answer when you really think about it. So, get out there and make some mistakes!
I’ll sign off with some words by Oscar Wilde from The Picture of Dorian Gray;
“Nowadays most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one's mistakes.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray